Saturday, April 11, 2009

Meridell Meeting March 27th

This meeting was especially difficult and emotional for me because I made the decision to fly back to DC with Chase on April 1st. It meant that this would be the last "in-person" visit for a month, and that was a hard pill for me to swallow. Somehow I had equated in my mind that my going home meant abandoning Eli, but I came to grips with it enough to know that I had to go home for Chase's and my sake...and Norman's too. We missed each other...we missed our normal. But I wasn't sure how I could look Eli in the face and answer when he asked when I would be visiting next.

Mom and Chase came with me, and we drove down on the 26th. We stayed in Georgetown, and had a nice time traveling together - talking and eating yummy comfort foods. My meeting with the therapist was at 10 am on Friday morning, and that went well.

Unfortunately Eli had gotten too many reds to get a day pass, and although they were willing to let him go out for the day with us, when I asked their opinion they felt that it would be sending him the wrong message. He KNOWS that he has to get greens and yellows to earn a day pass, and he's had just too many reds. So I agreed, and we decided that consistency is more important at this point than a fun day on the we stayed on campus.

Eli and Chase were overjoyed to see each other. I've never seen Chase light up so much and he kept shrieking 'Eli, Eli, Eli!!!" and smiling and hugging on him.

A couple of AWESOME Eli moments were...

* They had a cookout for the children's unit. We went to eat at this large pavillion with lots of different colored benches, and of course Eli headed straight toward a red bench. But mom and I went to a yellow bench and suggested we sit at the pretty yellow bench and he started to protest, but my sweet baby actually STOPPED...THOUGHT...and then said OKAY! :) No tantrum. No crying. No flinging bodies on the floor. I was so proud of him.

*They let the kids have a coke because it was a special day/event. I still don't like him to have cokes (I know...mean mommy, but a 5 year old does NOT need cokes!), so I struck up a deal with him. If he drank one of the small bottles of water, I would THEN let him have his coke... Once again he protested at first, but then cheerfully agreed!!! Proud moment number 2!

*We noticed throughout the day as the boys were running and playing that Eli did his very best to run AROUND Chase. Like if they were running TO someplace, he would go around him so he wouldn't knock him down. Normally Eli would make a beeline straight for Chase, run him down or push him down and seriously trample him. But he was helpful, loving, kind, and didn't do any of the aggressive behavior like the shoving, running over, etc. That happened all afternoon, and mom and I were so happy to see that.


Now there wasn't too much info to gain from the meeting...they had decided to take him off the Lithium, so we were at a wait and see point. With all the reds he had the previous week and a half, they were tweaking some on the doses/medication types, and it was more of just a "here's what we're doing" type meeting.

One of Eli's new little friends had his family visiting also, and that worked out nicely. The boys played together on the playground, and mom and I chatted with that boys parents. I had happened to say to Eli that we were excited because we finally were notified that our number had come up for housing on Fort Belvoir, and that's when we found out that the other family was an Army family! So we discussed military insurance, the different programs and issues we faced dealing with Tricare, and just the different posts. The husband/father in that family is now in Iraq, and my heart goes out to that family. Not only does the wife have to deal with a child in Meridell (and they live in Colorado Springs), but she has a deployed husband in a war zone, and a daughter who was so sweet that she had to keep things relatively "normal" for.

It was a very good visit, but it was terribly hard to leave. We left Eli on the playground with his class, but as we were leaving, Chase ran up to the fence (fenced in playground) and Eli and Chase clasped hands through the fence and both just cried and cried and held on to each others hands. It was such a hard thing to of the most difficult things I've ever seen. To separate brothers who love each other...and miss each other terribly...was awful. Chase cried for a while after I took his hand and led him away. That was just so hard; it still makes me weepy to think back on it. I will never, ever forget that moment.

Here are some pictures of that visit...I cherish that day so much...


Liana said...


I just wanted to say that I think you and Norman are great parents. You are doing everything in your power to keep things "normal" for Chase but you are also getting Eli the help that he needs. I don't know if I could do what you do as a mother. I read your blogs & most of the time am sitting in front of the computer bawling my eyes out. You have encouraged me to not take any day for granted and let my kids be kids (no matter how messy things may get). Thank you for being an inspiration to all of us moms out there. Love ya girl and keep up the awesome work.


samskat said...

You are definitely doing the right thing for Eli...For all of you. Getting Eli the help he needs will ultimately help you too. :) In the meantime, we're all still praying for you, and if you need anything, let us know!! The pics of the kids are great, it looks like the boys are really enjoying each others' company, and I know that has been a hard fought battle at your house!! One day at a time, Stace....You are a great mom, and you are NOT abandoning Eli...

samskat said...
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The Gough Family said...

Stace, my eyes are just filled with tears thinking about your goodbye. You are such a source of strength courage and inspiration. Believe. Believe in God's promises. He works ALL things out to good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. You are such a good mommy to both those boys. Continually in prayer for Eli~r.

Stacey said...

Thank you all so much. I don't know what else to say except that I am so thankful for your love and support for my family.

Wendy M. said...

How wonderful that you met that family and that they too are millitary! So cool!

Girl, I am in tears over the boys' goodbye through the fence. That must have been so terribly heartbreaking. Just keep in mind that you are doing right by your entire family, even though there are so many difficult moments.

Your family is always in our thoughts and prayers.

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